Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Thesis Presentation

After 3 days of concentrating on how to go about our thesis in preparation for our presentation, it was finally over. The pressure of the presentation has now lifted and the pressure of the final deadline (by mid-December) now looms. As for this evening, it is rest time for out group.

"What the hell is your thesis about anyway?", most people would ask time and again; most especially when I ask for an excuse for an ESC workday. Well, our thesis or research project is to build a proof-of-concept in the use of Java Cards (a specific type of smart card) as UP's ID. It is sort of bringing an innovation from the simple object that is the ID. Then we migrate the entire system to the Linux Environment.

So, what is so difficult about it? Basically, we have to learn an entirely new technology. We do not have the money to buy resource materials that are specific to our needs; such as the migration of hardware and toolkits that were designed for Windows. The Internet has been a very valuable ally in terms of resource gathering but most do not exactly match our problems. Online forums have often times been a very diffucult mode of asking for help. But we have managed, so far, with every little step towards achieving a finished thesis project.

It is painstaking to work day and night at the same thing but it is exciting to see that you are making progress.

However, tonight, I plan to take a rest.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Don't Care Mood

OK. So I was in my don't care mood during the General Meeting a while a go. So I have not been listening to the event heads and been blocking everything that was being said for that hour and a half meeting. So I didn't cooperate that much or gave that much attention. My fault...

I have just been swamped with so much stuff to think about. First among these is my thesis. I have finally sworn to myself that this is going to take top priority until it gets done! It's crunch time folks! It's half done, it's half baked, and it's due by the half of December! And it's a prerequisite to graduation! Even though I still am not sure if I am ready to leave the arena that is the university...

I am now starting to feel the excitement as well as the anxiety of the approach of the end of the university chapter of my life. I am beginning to feel the pain of once again letting go the friends, the environment, and the culture that I have for these past few years learned to call my home. Ahhh.... Why is it that now when you have finally found your purpose in this life, you begin to doubt that you are ready and up to it?

Being part of the Engineering Student Council or ESC of the University of the Philippines has made me grow into a more mature individual and has at the same time taught a lot more of life as a whole. It has also inspired me to strive and work and serve and enjoy everything despite all the setbacks. It has taught me to be resourceful and creative, be a team player and to keep your focus. It has given me more than I have ever imagined it to have given.

However, it just so oftentimes disheartens me to see that there is just a handful willing to do their job despite the fact that they were elected into it. It oftentimes pains me to hear things of how unqualified the present council is now despite the hard work and effort I have put into it, and despite the hardwork and dedication others, like myself, have sacrificed in doing our jobs. It has often times just become more tiring and more burdensome to try to trust your leaders when you know they oftentimes have failed you. It oftentimes feel like its time to quit. But, its just difficult not to. I guess, its just a matter of heart. I just can't give up what I love doing...

But for now, just give me a break... It's my quiet time... My don't care time...


Friday, November 19, 2004

My First Post

At last, after a series of questions, research and answers, I have finally decided that it was time for me to join the bandwagon of web loggers. There is still a lot for me to tinker and discover in this new world. As of the moment, I feel like a little child just born in a state of helplessness yet at the same time at awe at the sudden rush of new things to discover.

Hmmm... what do I do now? It's still an hour before my next class. Well, I guess it would be best if I take a nap.

Ciao!