Thursday, May 31, 2007

Reflections at a cliff's edge

What does it feel to simply let go? I finally discovered what it feels like to just jump off a cliff putting aside all hesitation, fears and anxiety that is human nature.


It was last week (see pictures here) that we went to Tali Beach in Batangas and the experience, though not exactly the kind were you have a lot of things can do, was rather a reflective one. The first time I jumped, which took around 5 minutes before I decided to really go for it, got me having flashes of my life mixed with feelings of panic, anticipation, and fear between the cliff and the sea water below. It is funny really, when you look back and think about it but the feeling of it was totally insane.


Looking back, I wondered whether that same feeling is what goes runs through the minds of those with suicidal tendencies, jumping off balconies. Do they, at some point in the middle of the fall, think back again and just realize that they are really falling and realize the mistake of trying to take their life?


I mean, during that first jump, those thoughts came into my mind. Thinking, "Shit! I'm really falling! I have nothing to hold on to nor am I standing on anything solid!" It was just you and the air molecules surrounding you. Even if it was only for a second, it also, at some point, feels like an eternity. In the end though, we were all cushioned by the cool sea waves and whatever panic we encountered in between quickly disappear. Unluckily, for the suicidal person, they land on solid concrete.


Scary to realize that the feeling is quite addicting and you would somehow understand what it feels to jump of a 37 storey building. The experience is an exhilarating one but not one that you'd try to replicate in the middle of the Makati business district. After all, no one from the group I came with (myself included) have any suicidal tendencies.


Damn, this entry got weird the moment I wrote about suicide. Going back to my thesis sentence, what does it feel to simply let go? To let go of one's self, one's emotion, one's personal lies, one's insecurities? I guess, it is a mix of many emotions, mostly on the side of fear and hesitation but the end result is a sense of accomplishment and pride. Come to think of it, it's much like death and life.


At the end of the day, when Toffee finally got to jump, he felt very proud. And somehow, we all did and we all will too.

Friday, May 18, 2007

To reflect on one's own thoughts and feelings

Leader. What does it take to be one? By definition, a leader should have the capacity to lead but in essence, a leader should inspire people to perform a task without having them to compromise their capacity for growth and enabling them to be able to lead as well.

It's a hot topic on what makes someone a leader that it often boils down to defining what qualities should a leader have. Ideas cross your mind about what a leader should be but when you are put into a position where you have the opportunity to do so, are you really willing to take that chance? Can you honestly say you have the make of a good leader? Is it possible to be ready to be one?

Can you put aside our personal goals in order to exceed team goals? Can you lay down your personal ego when you made a mistake? Can you have the guts to apologize after making your mistake? Can you take all of the blame for the sake of the people you lead? Can you raise your concerns firmly, quickly and demand immediate action to items that are most important for the team? Can you not be selfish and be mature enough and grow up faster so that the people you lead also grow? Can you overcome personal emotion, personal criticisms and take it constructively? Can you make people grow and mature?

So many expectations, in the end, are you really ready to take it on? But I guess the bottom line really more than anything else is if you will be inspired when the people you use to lead become better leaders than you? It’s more than because of you but because their potential grew with you.

Introspecting before judgment of others...

Sunday, May 13, 2007

My picks for May 2007

Tomorrow is election day for the Philippine Senatorial elections. Similar to the previous elections, I won't be able to vote. Again, this is not because of apathy or lack of interest to vote. I do want to vote. Unfortunately, I am registered in Cebu which is a plane ride and PhP6000 away. I have drafted my choices for the senatorial race though as seen below:

01. Chiz Escudero
02. Joker Arroyo
03. Kiko Pangilinan
04. Manny Villar
05. Loren Legarda
06. Alan Cayetano
07. Benigno Aquino
08. Martin Bautista
09. Koko Pimentel
10. Adrian Sison
11. Ralph Recto
(edited) 12. Edgar Angara (Mario Ongkiko) - I forgot Angara. He was UP President.

Of course, this is just my list and I am not endorsing you to vote for them or anything. Team Unity or Geniune Opppsition or whatever alliances do not really matter to me. I look for credentials and the idealism to serve. Gut feel and immeasurable, I know but let's see how these people do if ever they win. My bad if they do not turn out to be the shining ideal senators we expect them to be.

Again, I have always had my picks for every election since 1997 presidential elections and I usually have written reasons for each. Let's keep this list at that for now. You'll never know what new gossip I might hear today and might change my mind before tomorrow. :-)

Vote on the May 14 elections! It's not a privilege, it's your right!